Ah, is almost that time of the year already; more specifically, that part of life already. I have about 11 days until I receive that dreading message of college acceptance letter, for better or for worse. Actually, for worse, there are already many people accepted into their dream college, including MIT and Williams and Amherst. No. I am happy for them yet want to level with them. But how fragile is my little hope dangling around the edge my insanity. The power which I have right now is not enough for the torturing days to come. This is the time where I know how little of faith I have. In God and in myself; more in God right now, since my feeble efforts did its best couple of month ago when I applied to those colleges. The itching feeling I have scratches my fingers every morning when I type in my email address is growing stronger. How little faith I have. The irrtating monsetrosity dares to take me apart. How little faith I have. Why couldn't I have the songs of serpent liquify and poison me, into a deep coma which I will awake 13 days later. How, little, how small, and how fragile my faith is.
Not for a while have I rest again. rest on the greens and the blues. God, take my yoke from me and free me from the ever slow time. That's my faith now, enough to let it go and trust in him. How little faith I have.
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